02/22/2010
Tiger Woods and the Size of the Universe
The speed of light is about 186,000 miles per second. How fast is that? Imagine flying around the Earth four times in one second. That's the speed of light.
We live in a solar system consisting of one star and eight or nine planets. At the speed of light you could get from our star all the way out to Pluto in about five and a half hours.
A light year is the distance you would travel over the course of one year at the speed of light. It comes out to about six trillion miles.
Our solar system is a tiny dot sitting on the outer edges of the Milky Way galaxy, a galaxy that spans 100,000 light years across. That's six trillion miles times 100,000.
The Milky Way is part of the Local Group, a collection of nearby galaxies spanning four million light years. That's six trillion miles times four million.
Our Local Group is but a speck in an enormous collection of galaxy groups known as the Virgo Supercluster, which stretches 150 million light years across. That's six trillion miles times 150 million.
The Virgo Supercluster is a virtually invisible dot in the observable universe, which is at least 93 billion light years across. That's six trillion miles times 93 billion.
And that's only what we can view given the limitations of light speed.
A friend of mine despises the whole idea of this stuff because it makes him feel small and insignificant. If the Universe is that large, he says, and the entirety of human existence is but a barely noticeable blip along an astronomical stretch of space and time, then what's the point of anything? Doesn't that mean everything is meaningless?
No. And only a narcissist attempting to protect his fragile ego would even think to ask a question like that. Life has no meaning. It is a gift from the cosmos, an invitation to spend some time in a grand cathedral of wonder, and what you choose to do with that time determines your purpose in life, because purpose is something you assign to yourself and define for yourself.
Vanity and futility are very closely related.
This brings us to Tiger Woods.
Really?
No, but we're going there anyway.
Here is what Tiger Woods should have said in his public statement last week:
"Good morning. Ask yourselves why you even heard about my infidelities. Is where I put my cock more important than investigating how our once great Republic is now an oligarchy run by Goldman Sachs? Is where I put my cock more important than investigating who manufactures electronic voting machines, who programs them, who is responsible for maintaining their accuracy, and how that process takes place? Is where I put my cock more important than how an illegitimate central bank literally steals your life savings through a hidden tax called inflation by counterfeiting your money without your permission?
Are your lives so empty and meaningless that you can't come up with anything better to do with your limited time on Earth than listen to corporate whores on phony news channels talking about where I put my cock? Are you truly so shallow and useless that you wake up every morning with the ability to explore absolutely anything in the world, any of the fascinating and awe-inspiring curiosities sprinkled around this magnificent celestial oasis, and you choose to listen to media hacks drone on all day about where I put my cock?
Fuck you."
Copyright 2010 John Bizarre