March 30, 2008
Dear Hillary,
Stop begging me for money, ya crazy old broad! Jesus fucking Christ, every week another e-mail from you trying to mooch more cash! Where the hell is it all going?
Merrill Lynch gave you $172,900, Microsoft Corp gave you $175,419, Time Warner gave you $182,150, JPMorgan Chase & Co. gave you $258,120, Lehman Brothers gave you $264,610, Citigroup Inc. gave you $383,852, Morgan Stanley gave you $385,420 and Goldman Sachs gave you $440,300.
Bear Stearns gave you $152,090 and look what happened to them.
Is this the way it's going to be if you become president? Gimmee money gimmee money gimmee money! Why don't we just vote a crackhead into the White House? Do you have Whitney Houston's number?
By the way, the next-to-last paragraph of your e-mail begins with, "At times like this, with everything on the line.." blah blah blah. Wrong. It's either at times like these or at a time like this but never at times like this. Jeez, you went to Wellesley College and Yale, didn't you? I only went to Nassau Community College and I can write a better sentence than that. Maybe I should run for president too. Gimmee money gimmee money gimmee money!
For the record, I think you should tell Patrick Leahy to go fuck himself.
In conclusion, what I'm trying to say is, stop asking me for money, keep fighting to the bitter end, and buy a goddamn eighth grade English book..
..ya crazy old broad.
Your most humble and obedient servant,
John Bizarre
Copyright 2008 John Bizarre
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