October 26, 2007

Jeffrey Explains

Something foul is afoot, I thought as I fiddled with my pimple, something sinister and devious and cynical; another staged attack on Americans by the country's owners to spread fear and enact emergency legislation and erode a few more individual rights under the guise of implementing necessary security measures; another obscene assault on the American psyche by the New World Order constructionists, this time to supply the excuse for invading Iran and giving the international bankers a third battlefront for getting even richer from the bullshit war on terror by lending money to the people who make weapons, and lending money to the people who buy weapons, and lending money to the people who have to clean up the whole mess later on; another horrifying hoax to enable the Cheney Administration to declare martial law and hand out National ID cards and set up check points and make sure all the RFID chips are in place so that every person can be monitored and categorized and filed and cross referenced and why not just put the chip in your arm, it's so much easier that way, and then you won't need money because we can just scan your arm and see your account and your bills and your credit history and your shopping patterns and your television choices and your subversive activities and your every move, every day for the rest of your miserable, controlled life, you stupid fucking chimp. How could you let them take your country away from you like that without even a fight?

"You said something, sir?"

"What? No, Jeffrey. Just wrestling with a blemish on the end of my nose. Is it noticeable?"

"If you're hoping Santa will ask you to guide his sleigh tonight, I suspect you are in luck, sir."

"Yes, it is out of control, isn't it? What would you suggest?"

"Do you still have your mask from Phantom?"

"I refuse to hide in the shadows, Jeffrey."

"It's something to consider, sir."

"No, I must thrust forth my chest and walk proudly behind my huge, honkin' zit." 

"And what a parade it shall be, sir. Will you be playing the part of a float as well?"

"Are you suggesting I'm still a few pounds overweight?"

"I would never presume to understate the problem, sir."

"Very well. This blasted newspaper is confusing me, Jeffrey. What's happened to our country?"

"It's been conquered by a totalitarian regime, sir."

"Well, how in blazes did they get away with it?"

"Rigged voting machines, forged terrorist events, and a complicit television media to divert the attention of a soft-headed public. More tea, sir?"

"Quite." 

copyright 2007 john bizarre

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