August 24, 2007

Letter to Soledad O'Brian - Special correspondent for the Special Investigations Unit at CNN

Dear Soledad,

Thank you for your gritty, hard hitting report, Growing Up Diana, an uncompromising piece of steely-eyed journalism that peels back the layers of England's social classes and exposes us to the challenging struggles of a pale and privileged little pouter who managed to not only endure the hardships of growing up in a 32-room mansion on a sprawling estate with maids, butlers and chauffeurs but also marry into the Royal Family where she was forced to tolerate more maids, butlers and chauffers. My, what a story of human achievement. Helloooooo, Pulitzer.

I can see why CNN made you "Special" correspondent for "Special" Investigations. Did you take the "Special" bus to journalism school too? A dead princess is the most relevant story you can spend an entire hour exploring on a news channel? What, are you still 8 years old, dancing in the garden and dreaming about Cinderella? American troops returning home with missing limbs, the genocide in Darfur and Laos, genital mutilations of little girls in Africa, bride burning in India...and the most significant "investigation" you can deliver is Growing Up Diana? 

I hope Christiane Amanpour and Candy Crowley corner you in the women's room at CNN and beat some fucking sense into you.

Your most humble servant,

John Bizarre     

copyright 2007 John Bizarre